1 in 467,000

Today CNN informed me that I'm special. It was even breaking news! Wow!! The pride I'm feeling now.

But I really already knew this. I saw the pride in the tears rolling down my lovely brides cheeks when I came home three weeks ago and told her that I was now a member of this auspicious group of Americans. I saw it in the blank expressions of my children as we informed them. Can we have some of those warm fuzzy moments like in the insurance companies TV commercials about tightening the old belt and sitting around the kitchen table playing board games? I felt it in the warm handshake of my now former boss as I was escorted to the door.

Now like any good recipient of such a prestigious award I would be remiss if I didn't give those big thank yous to those responsible for bringing me to this group.

I, of course, have to thank our former administration for leading the rape and pillage of the former middle class of our great nation. Couldn't have done this without you boys!

I'd like to send warm regards out to the banking industry for their participation in getting me to this pinnacle of my life.

Then there's those insurance companies with the warm fuzzy ads. I'm pretty sure I remember hearing how they assisted in this uplifting situation. Thank you...thank you very much...